Brenton "The Great Onion" ([info]lifeismyconcert) wrote,
2005-07-18 22:13:00
  • Mood: amused
  • Music: My Chemical Romance- Helena
I got this idea from Jay.

Kelly Clarkson- What happens when you take a small town girl and let her win the biggest popularity contest and talent show in America.
Weezer- Ivy League nerds gone druggie.
Maroon Five- The only band based entirely on synthesizers and drum machines. Even the vocals are computer generated.
Incubus- Lyrics and music appear to be written by austistic children. Their first record was a combined product of illegal substances and Adam Sandler.
Nirvana- A heroin addict trying to imitate the Pixies.
Foo Fighters- What happens to Nirvana when Kurt Cobain dies.
Switchfoot- A Christian band trying to break free of their religion, but failing.
Third Eye Blind- The only band that can release three full length records and two DVDs on nothing but sex. If you don't believe me, look at their name.
Avril Lavigne- A Canadian pretending to be pissed off about the boyfriend she never had.
Nickelback- Four Canadians pretending to be pissed off about the girlfriends they never had.
Cher- Has had so much plastic surgery, her voice is now a transvestite. Actual age, unknown, but estimated to be in the hundreds.
Michael Jackson- Similar to Cher, but with ugly secrets that aren't really very secret. It has been suggested that he buys copies of his own records to make himself look like a reputable musician.
Hillary Duff- Even the layers of computer processing and backup vocals don't make her sound good. She relies instead on her Disney Channel following to boost record sales into the teens.
Lindsey Lohan- Similar to Hillary Duff, but still waiting to break 10 copies, since her own family won't even buy any.
Chevelle- What happens when you go to the Guitar Center with your three sons one Christmas, and then seventeen hurricanes pass through and knock out the power to the television set.

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  • 19 comments

[info]necropixel

July 19 2005, 02:44:50 UTC 6 years ago

Foo Fighters - If your first song works, copy it a billion times and change it only slightly each time.

[info]lifeismyconcert

July 19 2005, 03:14:22 UTC 6 years ago

That applies to all bands.

[info]necropixel

July 19 2005, 03:28:45 UTC 6 years ago

nope

[info]radiating__eyes

July 19 2005, 03:07:22 UTC 6 years ago

I like third eye blind...sex makes good music.


♥

[info]necropixel

July 19 2005, 03:09:56 UTC 6 years ago

nope :(

Anonymous

July 19 2005, 03:25:17 UTC 6 years ago

Brentons gay! love you anyways babe!

[info]badfghtngmouse

July 19 2005, 03:31:52 UTC 6 years ago

that was dumb.
a lot of those were good bands.
fuckm criticisms.
amen.

[info]independenta16

July 19 2005, 05:47:58 UTC 6 years ago

hey your still a huge incubus fan right?

[info]lifeismyconcert

July 19 2005, 14:09:02 UTC 6 years ago

Yeah. I also love Kelly Clarkson, Switchfoot, Third Eye Blind and Nickelback, but that doesn't mean I can't make fun of them every once in a while.

[info]bigwillie5241

July 19 2005, 11:32:58 UTC 6 years ago

LMFAO!!!! and the sad part is...its accurate....but im rather disappointed brenton, you cold have done more bands...like coldplay...and that other annoying pop band on the radio that proclaims itself as "rock"

[info]lifeismyconcert

July 19 2005, 14:10:03 UTC 6 years ago

Yeah, maybe I'll add some more onto it later.

[info]aeropiper21

July 19 2005, 13:26:15 UTC 6 years ago

LMAO. Yes, that is definitely Incubus.
Fyi, Cher's 58.
Blah.

[info]chinchillapower

July 19 2005, 13:52:28 UTC 6 years ago

"Avril Lavigne- A Canadian pretending to be pissed off about the boyfriend she never had.
Nickelback- Four Canadians pretending to be pissed off about the girlfriends they never had."

if thats true, they should start a club cuz they all have lots in common.

C.A.I.B/G
Canadians Against Imaginary Boyfriends/Girlfriends

[info]tinted_mondays

July 19 2005, 13:54:53 UTC 6 years ago

lmao many times...good criticism. I thought that it was funny and true. Musicians hate the synthesizers "How dare these pop queens!" At least rappers scratch records and stuff and have dj's.

[info]necropixel

July 19 2005, 14:20:48 UTC 6 years ago

you moron
some of the best musicians use synths

Brenton I hate all of your friends. :(

[info]lifeismyconcert

July 19 2005, 14:25:17 UTC 6 years ago

Yeah, they all hate you, too, Jay.
;).

[info]necropixel

July 19 2005, 14:48:54 UTC 6 years ago

goood :)

[info]ibsmartur

July 19 2005, 16:24:48 UTC 6 years ago

I'm with Jay on this one.
Brenton, your friends suck. =)

[info]lifeismyconcert

July 20 2005, 02:47:39 UTC 6 years ago

At least I don't have to resort to being friends with you. :)
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